Once you get into the game, cool things DO start happening. For instance, pretty soon you see a huge, terrifying dog-beast that happens to be on fire all of the time. Which is cool. And then the game informs you that it's your job to kill it and save the town. Which is even cooler. But...then this happens....
And I figured that if I just buckled down and kept going, it would get more intense. I mean, that was just the beginning, right? There's gonna be some meat and potatoes to this thing eventually. But no. No. That right there? Yeah, that's the game. The whole game. Just insert different voices with the same character models for different chapters.
Oh and speaking of voices, why does a white, Celtic-looking thug sound like he's doing a bad Samuel L. Jackson impression? Anyone?
At any rate, I plan to spend the rest of the day deciding if I'm stubborn enough to grind through the rest of this monstrosity or if I need a new cd-shaped frisbee. And then maybe I'll be able to actually paint something instead of worry how many monster brains I've collected so that I can get into a locked house in order to start that quest about the lost puppy which might allow me to actually progress in the story in about seven thousand more hours.